she simply could not believe
it when she saw me that morning
i looked like a wreck…but there was a certain peace about my face
that she could recognise immediately
i babbled to her what happened to me and she had tears in her eyes
she became soft and slowly bowed to me and began to touch my feet
she had understood what was happening
the beginning of the great journey for me…she knew but she worried
about my going…about my future…that i was too young
just nineteen and with no parents…no money no future
she knew my nature angry stubborn and adamant and that i
would risk
even starvation to do what i wanted
so she gently counselled me not to go…that she had no money to send me
to poona and i should wait for a few years and get settled with my life
and read bhagwan rajneesh in the meantime
i left in anger that she did not understand me and the
urgency
with which i had to go to poona…to take my sannyas
i went to rajyoga…there was an old man swami om prakash saraswati
sitting on his chair…i went and bowed to him
i told him that my head was bursting and my stomach was in intense pain
and i felt that i was going to die and that i needed to go to poona
he just smiled and suggested that i go home and get a good sleep and to
eat food and cover my head with a cloth…not to go to poona in this state
i went again to my aunt and pleaded to give me money
to go to poona
she told me that she would carefully consider and would collect money
over the next few months…and then i could go
i see these were just tactics to create delay and make
me change my mind
i felt that all these old people were in some sort of collusion together
no money in my pocket…determined to get there the same
day
i rushed to connaught place to tripsout travel agency harish buddhraj
he knew my family but decided that credit for the ticket was not
possible
i offered to sell him the only possession i had in my house
a new fridge…for half the price…a one way ticket and some cash
this he happily accepted
he immediately sent a tempo to collect the fridge
and arranged a one way air ticket to poona for the next day
my servant objected to the tempo…i had to go home and bribe him
to remain quite and not tell my aunt i had sold the fridge
i went again to connaught place bought some orange cloth and had the
tailor
stitch my first orange robe while i patiently waited for two hours
my spiritual life had begun
the whole night i poured over the dozen or so sannyas magazines
my head suddenly shooting into pain and my stomach bursting
up and down like a yo yo
something was trying to balance the pressure which built up
and settled inside me continuously throughout the night
the next morning i was floating with joy elated i
would soon be in poona
the sky became cloudy…the rain came down
the sun shone through the clouds…wow what a dream
i was sitting in a taxi with enough money in my pocket
on my way to heaven
poona february 1981 i arrive in heaven
wearing my orange robe immediately go to the ashram
it is evening…i manage to walk onto the ashram road…wow
seeing so many absolutely stunning and beautiful sannyasins with so much
joy and celebration written all over their faces…all over the streets
i felt such an upsurge of energy and wanted to be part of this for the
rest
of my life…my stomach pain suddenly becomes settled and my head pain
disappears as if by magic…what is left in its place is a sweet taste in
the
mouth of pure intoxication and a warm and honey like flow all over my
body
my nostrils fragrant with jasmine…i am floating over the ground
in an expansion that i never knew before
it is too late for visitors
so i walk around outside the ashram just looking at the sannyasins
spending the entire evening and night walking the streets
every street corner is filled with people dancing and playing on their
guitars
in many places a cassette of his discourse plays
his divine voice speaking softly and sannyasins sitting drinking and
drowning into his each and every word like nectar
deeply listening to the hiss in his words
my god…i wish i could bring the whole world to his
feet
i dream that this is just the start
and i imagine that bhagwan will actually transform the entire world
if they will only come here and listen to his magical voice and feel and
drink this divine bliss that is pervading the entire space all around
the air is thick with a fluid…flowing like divine bliss…this is simply
paradise
these people are the most blessed on this earth
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