but the descent continues
i am now falling below the navel…and get scared
my thoughts try and surface
i am at the wrong door…i must leave from the navel
not the black hole that is in front of mei
start resisting strongly
i start shaking the tall vertical pillar of light
by swaying back and forth
i must not fall inside this black hole again
i must keep conscious
i must leave the body from the navel
i sway back and forth to keep my consciousness alive
move move move
a huge struggle to keep alive has begun now
there is a strong struggle
the kundalini holding me firmly still
my skull is beginning to feel it is cracking
i can hear some slight crunching inside the skull
this is becoming deathly and very very dangerous
what am i doing
how am i to save my life
this struggle lasts for over an hour
finally something gives way…the kundalini settles
i realise that another hovering being is over my body
and then there is yet another
three huge balls of light are above me
i do not understand who they are
they are all watching this struggle
i feel helpless
perhaps it was all too much too sudden
i was not prepared for such descents into me
my body was too fragile
unprepared
my will was strong but with no experience
i must give up whatever this is
i silently watch and feel buddha bless me again
with compassion and understanding
i can feel him say he will wait till i am ready
and gently smiles
and gracefully merges
into another being above him
i am aware but too dazed and in a delirious state
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