Vigyan Bhairav Tantra - Meditation
Technique 103
WITH YOUR ENTIRE CONSCIOUSNESS IN THE VERY START OF
DESIRE, OF KNOWING, KNOW
The basic thing about this technique is ENTIRE CONSCIOUSNESS. If you can
bring your entire consciousness to anything, it will become a
transforming force. The transformation happens whenever you are entire
in it -- in anything. But that is difficult, because wherever we are, we
are only there in part, never in entirety.
You are here listening to me. This very listening can become a
transformation. If you are entirely here, this very moment here and now,
if listening is your entirety, that listening will become a meditation:
you will enter a different realm of ecstasy, a separate reality. But you
are not entire. That is the problem with the human mind, it is always
partial. A part is listening. Other parts may be somewhere else, or may
be asleep, or may be thinking about what is being said, or arguing
inside. That creates a division and division is a dissipation of energy.
So when doing anything bring your entire being to it. When you are not
holding anything back, not even a minor part is separate, when you have
taken a jump, total, whole, your whole being has come into it, then any
act becomes meditative.
It is reported that one day Rinzai was working in his garden -- Rinzai
was a Zen master -- and somebody approached. The man had come to ask
some philosophical questions. He was a philosophical seeker. He didn't
know that the man who was working in the garden was Rinzai himself. He
thought he must be a gardener, a servant, so he asked, "Where is
Rinzai?" Rinzai said,"Rinzai is always here." Of course, the man thought
that this gardener seemed to be mad because he said that Rinzai was
always here. So he thought it would not be good to ask anything of this
man again and he started moving off to ask someone else. Rinzai said,
"Don't go anywhere, because you will not find him anywhere. He is always
here." But he escaped from this madman.
Then he inquired from others and they said, "The first man you met is
Rinzai." So he came back and said, "Forgive me, I am sorry, I thought
you were mad. I have come to inquire about something. I want to now what
truth is. What should I do to know it?" Rinzai said, "Do whatsoever you
want to do, but do it entirely."
The point is not what you do, that is irrelevant. The point is that you
do it entirely.
"For example," Rinzai said, "when I am digging this hole in the earth,
my entirely is there in the act of digging. There is no Rinzai left
behind. The whole has gone into the digging. Really there is no digger
left, only the digging. If the digger is left, then you are divided."
You are listening to me. If the listener is left, then you are not
entire. If there is only listening and there is no listener left behind
you are entire, here and now. Then this very moment becomes a
meditation. In this sutra Shiva says, WITH YOUR ENTIRE CONSCIOUSNESS IN
THE VERY START OF DESIRE, OF KNOWING, KNOW. If a desire arises within
you, Tantra doesn't say to fight it. That is futile. No one can fight a
desire. It is foolish also, because whenever you start fighting with
something within you, you are fighting with yourself, you will become
schizophrenic, your personality will be split. And all these so-called
religions have helped humanity to by and by become schizophrenic.
Everybody is split, everybody is divided and fighting
with himself because so-called religions have told you, "This is bad.
Don't do this." If the desire comes, what to do? You go on fighting with
the desire. Tantra says don't fight the desire. But that doesn't mean
that you become a victim of it. That doesn't mean that you indulge in
it. Tantra gives you a very subtle technique. When desire arises, be
alert just at the beginning with your entirety. Look at it with your
entirety. Become the look. Don't leave the looker behind. Bring your
total consciousness to this arising desire. This is a very subtle
method, but wonderful. Miraculous are its effects.
Three things have to be understood. Firstly, when desire has already
arisen you cannot do anything. Then it will take its full course, it
will complete its circle, and you cannot do anything. Just in the
beginning something can be done -- the seed should be burned then and
there. Once the seed has sprouted and the tree has started growing, it
is difficult, almost impossible, to do something. Whatsoever you do will
create more anguish, dissipation of energy, frustration, weakness. When
the desire arises, just at the beginning, just at the first glimpse, the
first flicker that a desire is arising, bring your total consciousness,
the entirety of your being to look at it.
Don't do anything. Nothing else is needed. With the
entire being the look is so fiery that the seed is burned, with no
struggle, with no conflict, with no antagonism. Just a deep look with
the entire being and the arriving desire disappears completely. And when
a desire disappears without a fight, it leaves you so powerful, with
such immense energy, with such tremendous awareness, you cannot imagine
it. If you fight, you will be defeated. Even if you are not defeated and
you defeat the desire, that too will amount to the same thing. No energy
will be left. You will feel frustrated whether you win or get defeated.
In both cases you will be weak in the end, because the
desire was fighting with your energy and you were fighting with the same
energy. The energy was coming from the same source, you were taking from
the same source -- so the source will be weakened whatsoever the result.
But if the desire disappears just in the beginning, without any conflict
-- remember, this is basic -- without any fight, with just a look, not
even an antagonistic look, not even with a mind to destroy, with no
enmity, just a total look, in the intensity of that total look the seed
is burnt. And when the desire, arising desire, disappears, just like
smoke in the sky, you are left with tremendous energy -- that very
energy is bliss. That will give you a beauty of its own, a grace.
The so-called saints who are fighting their desires are always ugly.
When I say ugly, I mean they are always mean, fighting. Their whole
personality becomes graceless. And they are always weak, always lacking
energy, because all their energy is used up in the inner fight. A Buddha
is totally different. And the grace that has come to Buddha's
personality is the grace of desires disappearing without any struggle or
fight, without any inner violence.
WITH YOUR ENTIRE CONSCIOUSNESS IN THE VERY START OF DESIRE, OF KNOWING,
KNOW. In that very moment simply know, look, see. Don't do anything.
Nothing else is needed. All that is needed is that your total being
should be there present. Your total presence is needed. This is one of
the secrets of achieving the ultimate enlightenment without any
violence. And remember, you cannot enter into the kingdom of God with
violence. No, those doors shall never open for you, howsoever much you
knock. Knock and go on knocking. You may break your head but those doors
will never open.
But for those who deep inside are non-violent and not
fighting with anything, those doors are always open, they were never
closed. Jesus said, "Knock and the doors shall be opened unto you." I
say to you that there is no need even to knock. Look, the doors are
open. They have always been open. They were never closed. Just take a
deep look, entire, total, whole.