Osho on need for Approval and Acceptance from others

Question - Beloved Osho, I am Aware of my need for Approval and Acceptance from others. I don't want to be driven by this need. How does it resolve?

Osho - One has to see the foolishness of it. It is not a question of resolving it. One has to see the ridiculousness of it, then it falls. It is not resolved. Diseases are not to be resolved; they fall away. Just try to see the foolishness of it.

I will tell you a few anecdotes. A woman, newly arrived to live in a spacious mansion, met the woman she knew lived in a cottage at the edge of her estate.
"Welcome to our little community," greeted the cottage dweller.
The new resident, drawing herself up haughtily, replied, "Please do not address me. I never speak to an inferior." "Oh," replied the cottage dweller sweetly, "and where in the world did you ever meet one?"

Everybody is an egoist. It is difficult to see that you are in the same boat. You can see all others in the same boat. Just see it -- that everybody in deep ignorance remains an egoist, goes on thinking in terms of the ego. Nobody is there in the world to fulfill your ego; everybody is trying to fulfill his own. Who has time to fulfill your ego? And if sometimes somebody fulfills your ego, he must be fulfilling it as a means to fulfill his own.
Basically, everybody is interested in himself. As you are interested in yourself, others are interested in themselves. Just become aware of this.

Everybody is trying to compete; and in this competition, and in this egoistic, ambitious race, one is destroying all that is beautiful. One is destroying a beautiful life that could have flowered and become a pinnacle of existence -- Buddha-like, Jesus-like, Krishna-like. But everybody is asking others, begging: Approve of me! Say something that gives me a good feeling about myself. Hence, flattery works. Hence, anybody can deceive you just by flattering you. And people go on doing things which they never wanted to do, but they go on doing them because that is the only way they can get the approval of others. Everybody is distracted from his destiny because others are looking, and they have a fixed idea as to how to approve of you.

It happened in a town: The new bride had returned to the small town after her runaway marriage. "I suppose my elopement was a nine days' wonder around here," she commented to the village's lone policeman.
"It would have been," he replied, "only the Smiths' dog went mad the same night."

People go on wasting their time and life and energy. There is no need! In fact, as you are, you are perfect. Nothing is to be added to you. God never creates anybody imperfect. How can he create anybody imperfect? You have heard religious people teaching you: God created the world. And they go on teaching you: You are created by God in his own image. And still they go on teaching you: Become perfect!

This is simple absurdity. God created you in his own image, and still you need perfection? Then God must be imperfect. How, out of God, can imperfection come? Creation carries his signature. You also go on carrying his signature. Drop this begging!

Somebody is asking for money, somebody is asking for bread, somebody is asking for approval. All are beggars. Don't ask. In asking you will miss much that is already available to you. Look rather than asking. Look within yourself and the emperor of emperors is there. Start enjoying it, start living it!

It happened: The famous college athlete had just returned from the Olympics with a chestful of medals when he fell ill. At the hospital the doctor took his temperature, shook his head doubtfully, and said, "You're running a temperature of a hundred and five."
"Oh, yeah?" answered the athlete weakly. Then, suddenly interested, he asked, "Hey, doc, what's the world record?"

Drop all this nonsense! You are already approved of, otherwise you could not have been here. God has accepted you, given birth to you. If van Gogh paints, whatsoever painting he creates is already approved of -- otherwise he would not have created it in the first place. If Picasso paints something, in the very painting, the painting is approved of. The painter has put his heart into it. Just go deeper into your own being -- God has put all the treasures that you need there. He has approved of you, accepted you. He is happy that you are!

But you don't look there. You are asking from others like a beggar: Approve of me! -- and they are also beggars just like you. Beggars asking beggars. Even if they approve of you a little, they will wait for you to approve of them. It is going to be a bargain. And just think of it: they don't have anything to give to you when they themselves are begging; and what can you give to them when you yourself are begging? Just a little alertness and one drops all begging. And with that, ambition drops, ego drops. One starts living.

Dance, while you are alive. Breathe blissfully while you are alive. Sing while you are alive. Love, meditate, while you are alive. And once you change, you shift your consciousness, your focus of consciousness, from the outside to the inside, you feel tremendously happy and blessed. Just to feel "I exist" is such a blessing that nothing else is needed. "I exist!" -- all the dance, all the song, all blessings, are included in it. "I exist!" -- God is included in it.

Don't make your God a beggar. Be a God! Recognize your godliness and then there is nothing to achieve. One has simply to start, one has to start to live. Live like a god: that's my message to you. I don't say: Become a god. I say: You are! Start living! You are -- recognize it! You are -- remember it! You are -- just become mindful of it. There is nothing to be achieved. Life is not an achievement, it is a gift. It has already been given, for what are you waiting? The door is open, and the host has already invited you. Come in!

Source - Osho Book "The Search"

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