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Osho discourse
on Women’s Menopause
Question : Can you say something
about Women’s Menopause?
Osho: In each person's life the
time of change comes. And one of the greatest things to remember
is that when you change a certain pattern of life, you have to
change naturally. It is not in your hands. Biology makes you
capable of sex at the age of thirteen or fourteen; it is not
your doing. At a certain age, as you are coming closer to forty
or forty-two, the biology's purpose is finished. All those
hormones that have been propelling you are disappearing. To
accept this change is very difficult. You suddenly start
thinking as if you are no longer beautiful, that you need a
face-lift.
I have heard about a woman who was saying to the plastic
surgeon, "I need a face-lift."
The surgeon looked at her and he said, "There is nothing wrong;
it is just age. Don't be worried about it. Why unnecessarily go
to the trouble?
But the woman was insistent, so the doctor said, "Okay, but it
will cost five thousand dollars."
The woman said, "That much money I don't have. Can't you suggest
something cheaper?"
The doctor said, "Yes. You can purchase a veil."

It is one of the Western problems. In the East no woman is
worried. Things are accepted as they come. Acceptance has been
the basic foundation of Eastern life. The West is continuously
imposing on nature, demanding how things should be. Nobody wants
to become old, so when the time of transition from one stage of
life comes, a very strange phenomenon happens -- and that is
what is happening to Shunyo. I did not say it because I did not
want to hurt her.
It is going to happen whether I say anything about it or not,
just as a candle comes to the very end, has only a few seconds
more before it will be gone. At the last moment the candle
suddenly becomes bigger with all its power.
Nobody wants to go. It is a well-known fact to medical science
that people at the time of death suddenly
become completely healthy; all their diseases disappear. This is
the last effort of their life -- to resist death. The people who
are related to them feel very happy that suddenly all diseases
have disappeared.
The person has become calm and quiet, but they don't know that
it signifies death. The diseases have disappeared because their
function is fulfilled: they have killed the man. Now it is the
last spurt of life. The same happens with every biological
change in life. When sex is becoming irrelevant, you start
thinking of sex more than ever, and suddenly a great spurt...
That is what is giving her the idea that it seems she is
sexually repressed -- because so much sexuality is suddenly
overwhelming the mind.
The mind can only understand logically, rationally one thing:
from where is this sexuality coming? -- it must be coming from
the repressed unconscious. That is what Sigmund Freud and their
followers have been teaching to the whole world. They are right
on many points; they are wrong on many points. Particularly
about this point, the transition when you are no longer young
and the hormones in you are going to disappear, and the interest
in sex is going to die -- before dying it will explode with its
full force.
If you go to a psychoanalyst, he will say that you are sexually
repressed. I cannot say that, because I know that this sudden
overwhelming sexuality will be gone by itself, you don't have to
do anything. It is the signal that life is passing through a
change. Now, life will be more calm and more quiet. You are
really entering into a better state.
Sex is a little childish. As you become more and more mature,
sex loses the grip over you -- and it is a good sign. It is
something to be happy about; it is not a problem to be solved.
It is something to celebrate. In the East no woman ever feels
the trouble of the transition from youth to old age. In
fact, she feels immensely happy that now that old demon is gone
and life can be more peaceful. But the West has been living
under many illusions. One is the illusion that there is only one
life. That creates immense trouble. If there is only one life
and sex is disappearing, so you are finished. Now, there is no
more opportunity; there will not be any more excitement in life.
Nobody is going to say, "You are beautiful and I love you and I
will love you forever." So first, the illusion of one life
creates a problem. Second, the psychoanalysts and other
therapists have created another illusion that sex is almost
synonymous to life. The more sexual you are, the more alive you
are. So when sex starts disappearing one starts feeling like a
used cartridge: now there is no point to live; life ends with
sex ending. Then people try all kinds of bizarre things: face
lift, plastic surgery, false breasts. It is stupid, simply
stupid.
People start trying wigs; they start trying dresses which are
sex-provoking. Almost all Western women are starving -- they
call it dieting! The idea in the West is that a woman is
beautiful if she is not fat. And nature has some other idea: the
woman has to be a little fat because for nature the woman is a
mother. A mother needs extra fat for the child, because when the
child is in her womb he will need food. And when the child is in
the womb, the mother starts feeling nausea; she cannot eat, she
starts throwing up.
She needs emergency fat in her body so she can feed the child
because the child needs food; he is growing fast.
Science says that in the nine months in the mother's womb, a
child grows so fast that he will never grow so fast again in his
seventy years. In nine months he passes through almost the whole
evolution of man, from the fish... all the stages. His
requirements have to be fulfilled by the mother -- And she
cannot eat... you can imagine. It is troublesome to have a child
in your belly.
I don't think any man is ready to be pregnant: he will commit
suicide; without any doubt he will jump from a fifty-storey
building, "I am finished... pregnant...?" Just think, the idea
that you have a child in the belly, and you will go crazy. But
how to get rid of it... The mother goes through immense
suffering, great sacrifice; hence, in the East we have not
created the idea of a skinny woman. Of course, the skinny woman
looks more sexually attractive, younger. The fat woman looks
less sexually interesting, because she loses proportions.
Her waist is no longer very small. Her body has gathered so much
fat that nobody will feel attracted towards her. She does not
have the necessary attraction for the human mind. The East
has accepted that a woman has to be a little more fat than a
man, a little more rounded. Just the other day somebody brought
me a book of pictures taken by one famous photographer and on
the front page was Sophia Loren. In the East she cannot be
conceived of as very beautiful: she must be dieting -- and
dieting is nothing but the rich man's idea of starvation.
The poor people starve by themselves. The rich people starve in
a costly way under professional guidance. The fear that you will
not be attractive, that you will no longer be looked at by
people... You will pass through the street and nobody will look
at you; who is going...? It is a great need of man, and
particularly women, to have attention -- attention is
nourishment. A woman suffers immensely when nobody pays
attention to her. She has
nothing else to attract people by; she has only her body.
Man has not allowed her to have other dimensions where she can
become a famous painter, a dancer or a singer, a learned
professor. Man has cut all other dimensions from the woman's
life where she can be attractive and people will pay respect
even while she becomes old. I have to remind you of the meaning
of `respect': it means looking back. When somebody passes by:
re-spect. It has nothing to do with honor; it has something to
do with your
being suddenly aware that a beautiful thing has passed.
Woman is left only the body by man, so she is so much concerned
with the body that it creates clinging, possessiveness, fear
that the person who loves her, if he leaves, perhaps will find
another person. And without attention she starts feeling almost
dead: What is the use of life if nobody is paying attention to
you? She does not have an intrinsic life of her own. Man has
taught woman that her life depends on others' opinions about
her.
You can see all over the world that beauty competitions are
arranged only for women, and the woman does not even revolt
against these ideas. Why not for men? Just as you choose a Mrs.
or Miss Universe, choose a Mr. Universe. No, nobody bothers
about the man's body. He can grow fat; he can become a Winston
Churchill. Still he attracts attention because he has power. In
the same book just beside Sophia Loren is Winston Churchill --
ugly, as fat as you can conceive, the whole face sagging.
He needs a face-lift -- not Sophia Loren -- but he will not
bother; there is no need. He can have power, he can be the prime
minister. He can be this and he can be that... Man has managed
over the centuries to have all the other dimensions of
attracting people, and he has left to woman only one dimension:
her body. He has made woman just a vegetable. And naturally, the
vegetable starts being worried if there are no customers.
It is not a coincidence that in the most sexually perverted
country, France, while being in love with a woman, you say, "I
want to eat you." Are these people cannibals? Is the woman a
vegetable or what? "I want to eat you" shows a great respect for
the woman! When nobody says to her, "I want to eat you," she
thinks, "I am now finished. Life has
come to an end!" But here with me you have to learn something.
The first thing is a deep acceptability of all the changes that
nature brings to you. Youth has its own beauty; old age has its
own beauty too.
It may not be sexual, but if a man has lived silently,
peacefully, meditatively, then old age will have a grandeur of
its own. Just as the snow-covered peaks look beautiful, the
white hairs of old age also have their own beauty -- and not
only beauty, but wisdom too, which no young man can claim,
because all his behavior is stupid. He is running behind this
woman, running behind that woman. The old man has stopped all
this running business. He has settled in himself. He is no
longer dependent on anybody else. The old woman should follow
the same way.
There should be no difference between men and women. Love
happens only when you are beyond biological slavery; then love
has a beauty. Biological slavery and the biological relationship
are so ugly that for centuries people have decided to make love
in darkness without light, so they don't see what they are
doing. When life is going through biological change, it is not
only to be accepted, it has to be rejoiced in that you have
passed through all that stupidity, that now you are free from
biological bondage. It is only a question of conditionioning...
One has to accept life. But your unconsciousness does not allow
you to accept life as it is. You wanted something else. It is
perfectly good when sex disappears. You will be more capable of
meditating. You will be more capable of being alone. You will be
more capable of being blissful, without any misery because the
whole game of sex is nothing but a long misery -- fighting,
hate, jealousy, envy. It is not a peaceful life. It is peace,
silence, blissfulness, aloneness, freedom which give you the
real taste of what life is.
Related
Osho Articles on Women:
-
Osho on Woman
Liberation
-
Osho on Nice Qualities
of Woman
-
Osho on Qualities of the
Female Mind
-
Osho on Motherly
Qualities of woman
-
Osho on Special
Meditations for Women
-
Osho on
Responsiblity of being a Mother
-
Osho on Mother duty in Child
Upbringing
-
Osho - Woman should not try to
imitate Man
-
Osho on Pain
of Witch and Beauty of Witches
-
Osho -
why do you ask people to get Married
-
Osho on greatest need of
Contemporary Woman
-
Osho on Female Creativity - Female
Creative Spirit
-
Osho on
Woman destructive attitude during Periods
-
Osho discourse on Being an
Artist rather than a Mother
-
Osho - Whenever a Child is born, the
Mother is also Born
- Every man is
a woman too and Every woman is a Man too
- Osho - Can you say
something about the mystery of Women
-
Osho on
Difficulty in Loving Oneself - learning to love oneself
-
Women ask me how they should
behave at the menopause" by T. Lobsang
Rampa
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