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Osho on Be a light unto
yourself
Question:
Osho, how can
I become a light unto myself?
Osho : Shraddho Yannis, These were the last words of
Gautam the Buddha, his
parting message to his disciples: ”Be a light unto
yourself.” But when he says, ”Be a light unto yourself,”
he does not mean become a light unto yourself. There is
a great difference between being and becoming. Becoming
is a process, being is a discovery. The seed only
appears to become the tree, that is an appearance. The
seed already had the tree within itself, it was its very
being. The seed does not
become the flowers. The flowers were there unmanifest,
now they are manifest.
It is not a question of
becoming, otherwise a pebble could become a flower. But
that doesn’t happen. A rock cannot
become a rose; that doesn’t happen because the rock has
no potential for being a rose. The seed simply discovers
itself through dying into the soil: dropping its outer
shell, it becomes revealed in its inner reality. Man is
a light in the seed. You are already Buddhas. It is not
that you have to become Buddhas, it is not a question of
learning, of achieving, it is only a question of
recognition – it is a question of going within yourself
and seeing what is there.
It is self-discovery. Yannis, you are not to become a
light unto yourself, it is already the case. But you
don’t go in, your
whole journey is outward. We are being brought up in
such a way that we all become extroverts. Our eyes
become focused on the outside, we are always seeking and
searching for some goal ”there,” far away. The farther
the goal, the more challenging it appears to the ego.
The more difficult it is, the more attractive it
appears. The ego exists through challenges; it wants to
prove itself.
It is not interested in
the simple, it is not interested in the ordinary, it is
not interested in the natural, it is interested in
something which is neither natural, nor simple, nor
ordinary. Its desire is for the extraordinary. And the
reality is very ordinary, it is very simple. The reality
is not there but here, not then but now, not outside but
in the innermost sanctum of your being. You have just to
close your eyes and look in. In the beginning it is
difficult because the eyes only know how to look out.
They have become so accustomed to looking out that when
you close them, then too they continue to look out –
they
start dreaming, they start fantasizing. Those dreams are
nothing but reflections of the outside. So it is only in
appearance that you seem to be with closed eyes, your
eyes are still open to the outside world, you are not
in. In fact, every meditator comes across this strange
phenomenon: that whenever you close your eyes your mind
becomes more restless, your mind becomes more insane. It
starts chattering in a crazy way: relevant, irrelevant
thoughts crisscross your being.
It is never so when you are looking outside. And
naturally you become tired, naturally you think it is
better to remain occupied in something, in some work,
rather than sit silently with closed eyes, because
nothing seems to happen except a long long procession of
thoughts, desires, memories. And they go on coming,
unending. But this is only in the beginning. Just a
little patience, just a little awaiting....
If you go on looking, watching these thoughts silently,
with no judgment, with no antagonism, with no desire
even to stop them – as if you have no concern with them
– unconcerned.... Just as one watches the traffic on the
road, or one watches the clouds in the sky, or one
watches a river flow by, you simply watch your thoughts.
You are not those thoughts, you are the watcher,
remembering that ”I am the watcher, not the watched.”
You cannot be the watched, you cannot be the object of
your own subjectivity. You are your subjectivity, you
are the witness, you are consciousness.
Remembering it.... It takes a
little time, slowly slowly the old habit dies. It
dies hard but it dies, certainly. And the day the
traffic stops, suddenly you are full of light. You have
always been full of light, just those thoughts were not
allowing you to see that which you are. When all objects
have disappeared, there is nothing else to see, you
recognize yourself for the first
time. You realize yourself for the first time. It is not
becoming, it is a discovery of being. The outer shell of
the thoughts of the mind is dropped, and you have
discovered your flowers, you have discovered your
fragrance.
This fragrance is freedom. Hence, Yannis, don’t ask,
”How can I become a light unto myself?” You are already
a light unto
yourself, you are just not aware of it. You have
forgotten about it – you have to discover it. And the
how of discovery is simple, very simple: a simple
process of watching your thoughts. To help this process
you can start watching other things too, because the
process of watching is the same. What you are watching
is not significant. Watch anything and you are learning
watchfulness. Listen to the birds, it is the same. One
day you will be able to listen to your own thoughts.
The birds are a little farther away, your thoughts are a
little closer. In the fall watch the dry leaves falling
from the trees. Anything will do that helps you to be
watchful. Walking, watch your own walking. Buddha used
to say to his disciples: Take each step watchfully. He
used to say: Watch your breath. And that is one of the
most significant practices for watching because the
breath is there continuously available for twenty-four
hours a day wherever you are. The birds may be singing
one day, they may not be singing some other day, but
breathing is always there.
Sitting, walking, Lying
down, it is always there. Go on watching the breath
coming in, the breath going out. Not that watching the
breath is the point, the point is learning how to watch.
Go to the river and watch the river. Sit in the
marketplace and watch people passing by. Watch anything,
just remember that you are a watcher. Don’t become
judgmental, don’t be a judge. Once you start judging you
have forgotten that you are a watcher, you have become
involved, you have taken sides, you have chosen: ”I am
in favor of this thought and I am against that thought.”
Once you choose, you become identified.
Watchfulness is
the method of destroying all identification. Hence
Gurdjieff called his process the process of
nonidentification. It is the same, his word is
different. Don’t identify yourself with anything, and
slowly slowly one learns the ultimate art of
watchfulness. That’s what meditation is all about.
Through meditation one discovers one’s own light. That
light you can call your soul, your self, your God –
whatsoever word you choose – or you can remain just
silent because it has no name. It is a nameless
experience, tremendously beautiful, ecstatic, utterly
silent, but it gives you the taste of eternity, of
timelessness, of something beyond death.
Source: "Walking in Zen, Sitting in Zen" -
Osho
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