Osho - Why So Many Jokes on Polacks

Question: Osho, I am very Angry that you are telling so many jokes about the Polacks.
Osho: Neerva, I AM VERY SORRY but really the fault is not mine; I am not the culprit. I have got three librarians: Lalita, Gayan, Nandan. It seems one of them has fallen in love with some Polack this month, so they go on sending me beautiful jokes about the Polacks. And the jokes are so juicy that whether you are angry or not I am going to tell them! And this is also a beautiful way to find out how many Polacks are here, because they go on hiding. Nobody says, "I am a Polack," but this is how, Neerva, I find who is a Polack.

Now even by asking this question you have proved all those jokes true! Did you hear about the tiger who cornered Mr. Aesop and then proceeded to eat him for his Sunday dinner? "Go ahead, Aesop," said the tiger, "try and make up a fable about this!" Naturally, tigers and wild animals must be angry about Aesop -- he goes on making up stories about them! So you... But I am not making up these stories, I am simply stating facts. You cannot improve upon the jokes -- those jokes are perfect!

Have you heard about the Polack who started saying intelligent things? He was born perfectly stupid and then had a relapse! What would you suspect if a Polack started behaving in an intelligent way? Rather than suspecting, you could be sure that his mother was not faithful to his father!

Two Polacks go to see a Western movie. In the middle of the film a cowboy, mounted on a white horse, and an Indian, mounted on a black horse, begin to race each other across the plain. The first Polack turns to his friend and says, "I'll bet you fifty dollars that the black horse gets to the river before the white horse."
"Okay, you're on!" exclaims the second Polack.

A few seconds later, the white horse and his rider splash into the river ten lengths ahead of the black horse. "Listen," said the second Polack after a pause, "I can't take your money. I have seen this movie before and I knew that the white horse would win." "Ah!" said the first Polack. "I have seen it twice before... but that black horse got off to such a good start THIS time! "

The sawmill foreman hired Sofronski, led him to a buzz saw and explained how it worked. He warned Sofronski that it was extremely dangerous, and left him alone.
Sofronski, fascinated by the saw, reached out a probing finger toward it. One second later the finger was gone. Sofronski screamed in pain, bringing the foreman on the run.
"What happened?" he asked.
"Your saw cut my finger off."
"Well," asked the foreman, "what did you do wrong?"
"I don't know!" said the Polack. "I just touch it like this... ow! Damn, there go another one!"

A gorilla in the zoo died. His female companion, after a few months, began getting violent as her need for sex increased. The zookeepers decided to get a man to make love to her. They picked up a Polack down on skid row and offered him twenty dollars for the job. They muzzled the she-ape, tied her arms to the bars, and let the Polack gingerly into her cage. When the gorilla saw the guy had an erection, she suddenly ripped her arms loose from the bars and began crushing him in her embrace. "Help!" he shouted. "For God's sake, help!"
"Don't worry," the keeper shouted back, "we'll get an elephant-gun and shoot her." "No! No! Don't shoot her. Just get her muzzle off -- I wanna kiss her!"

Source: from book "Guida Spirituale" by Osho

Related Osho Links:
               Osho General Jokes
                Osho Jokes on Polack
                Osho Jokes on Fake Spirituality
                Osho Jokes on Character Paddy
                Osho Jokes on Pope the Polack
                Osho Jokes on Repressed Sexuality
                Osho discourse on Sufi Mystic Mulla Nasruddin
                Osho Jokes on people from Different Countries
                Osho Jokes on Mulla Nasruddin Part 1, Part2, Part 3


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