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Atisha's Sutra Watching the Watcher Continued......

The third sutra:  Even though you are distracted, if you can do it, it is still mind training.
Yes, sometimes you will be distracted. You are not yet all buddhas -- there will be times when you will be distracted, there will be times when you will be dragged down by the negative, sucked in by the old habit. And by the time you know, it has already happened; you are miserable. The shadow has fallen on you, that sunlit peak has disappeared, you have fallen into the dark valley.

Then what to do in those moments? Atisha says:
 Even though you are distracted, if you can do it, it is still mind training.What does he mean by "if you can do it?" This is of great importance. If you can be attentive to your inattention, if you can be aware that you have fallen into the trap of the negative, it is still meditation, it is still mind training, you are still growing. Yes, many times you will fall, it is natural. And many times you will forget, it is natural. And many times you will be trapped and it will take time for you to remember.

But the moment you remember, remember TOTALLY. Wake up totally and say, "I have fallen." And see the difference. If you ask the ordinary religious person he will say, "Repent -- punish yourself." But Atisha is saying: If you are attentive, that's enough. Be attentive to your inattention, be aware that you have not been aware, that's all. No repentance is needed. Don't feel guilty; it is natural, it is human. To fall many times is not something to feel guilty about. To commit errors, to go astray, is part of our human frailty and limitations.

 So there is no need to repent. Repentance is ugly. It is like playing with your wound, fingering your wound. It is unnecessary, and not only unnecessary but harmful -- the wound may become septic, and fingering your wound is not going to help it heal either. If you have fallen, just know that you have fallen, with no guilt, with no repentance. There is no need to go anywhere to confess it, just knowing it is enough. And knowing it, you are helping your awareness to grow. Less and less will you fall, because knowing will become more and more strong in you.

The fourth sutra:
 Always observe the three general points. What are the three general points? The first is regularity of meditativeness. Remember, it is very difficult to create meditation, it is very easy to lose it. Anything higher takes much arduous effort to create, but it can disappear within a moment. To lose contact with it is very easy. That is one of the qualities of the higher. It is like growing a roseflower -- just a little hard wind and the rose has withered and the petals have fallen, or some animal has entered the garden and the rose is eaten. It is very easy to lose it, and it was so long a journey to create it.

And whenever there is a conflict between the higher and the lower, always remember, the lower wins easily. If you clash a roseflower with a rock, the roseflower is going to die, not the rock. The rock may not even become aware that there has been a clash, that it has killed something beautiful. Your whole past is full of rocks, and when you start growing a rose of awareness in you, there are a thousand and one possibilities of it being destroyed by your old rocks -- habits, mechanical habits. You will have to be very watchful and careful.

You will have to walk like a woman who is pregnant. Hence the man of awareness walks carefully, lives carefully. And this has to be a regular phenomenon. It is not that one day you do a little meditation, then for a few days you forget about it, and then one day you do it again. It has to be as regular as sleep, as food, as exercise, as breathing. Only then will the infinite glory of God open its doors to you. So the first general point is: be regular. The second general point is: don't waste your time with the nonessential. Don't fool around.

Millions of people are wasting their time with the nonessential, and the irony is that they know that it is nonessential. But they say, "What else to do?" They are not aware of anything more significant. People are playing cards, and if you ask them, "What are you doing?" they say they are killing time. Killing time? Time is life! So you are really killing life. And the time that you are killing cannot be recaptured again; once gone, it is gone forever.

The man who wants to become a buddha has to drop the nonessential more and more, so that more energy is available for the essential. Take a look at your life, how many nonessential things you are doing -- and for what? And how long you have done them -- and what have you gained? Are you going to repeat the same stupid pattern your whole life? Enough is enough! Take a look, meditate over it. Say only that which is essential, do only that which is essential, read only that which is essential.

And so much time is saved and so much energy is saved, and all that energy and time can easily be channeled towards meditation, towards inner growth, towards witnessing. I have never seen a man who is so poor that he cannot meditate. But people are engaged in foolish things, utterly foolish. They don't look foolish, because everybody else is also doing the same.

But the seeker has to be watchful. Take more note of what you are doing, what you are doing with your life -- because to grow roses of awareness much energy will be needed, a reservoir of energy will be needed. All that is great comes only when you have extra energy. If your whole energy is wasted on the mundane, then the sacred will never be contacted.

And the third general point is: don't rationalize your errors and mistakes. The mind tends to rationalize. If you commit some mistake, the mind says, "It had to be so, there were reasons for it. I am not responsible, the very situation made this happen." And the mind is very clever at rationalizing everything. Avoid rationalizing your own errors and mistakes, because if you rationalize you protect them. Then they will be repeated. Avoid rationalizing your errors. Stop rationalization completely. Reasoning is one thing, rationalization is totally another.

Reasoning can be used for some positive purposes, but rationalization can never be used for any positive purpose. And you will be able to find when you are rationalizing, you can deceive others but you cannot deceive yourself. You know that you have fallen. Rather than wasting time in rationalizing and convincing yourself that nothing has gone wrong, put the whole energy into being aware. All these general points are to help you so that you can block the leaks of your energy. Otherwise God goes on pouring energy into you, and you have so many leakages that you are never full. Energy comes, but leaks out.

The fifth sutra:
 Change your inclination and then maintain it.
Change your inclination from the mind to the heart. That is the first change. Think less, feel more. Intellectualize less, intuit more. Thinking is a very deceptive process, it makes you feel that you are doing great things. But you are simply making castles in the air. Thoughts are nothing but castles in the air. Feelings are more material, more substantial. They transform you. Thinking about love is not going to help, but feeling love is bound to change you. Thinking is very much loved by the ego, because the ego feeds on fictions.

The ego cannot digest any reality, and thinking is a fictitious process. It is a kind of dreaming, a sophisticated dreaming. Dreams are pictorial and thinking is conceptual, but the process is the same. Dreaming is a primitive kind of thinking, and thinking is a civilized kind of dreaming. Change from the mind to the heart, from thinking to feeling, from logic to love. And the second change is from the heart to the being -- because there is a still deeper layer in you where even feelings cannot reach.

Remember these three words: mind, heart, being. The being is your pure nature. Surrounding the being is feeling, and surrounding feeling is thinking. Thinking is far away from being but feeling is a little closer; it reflects some glory of the being. It is just as in the sunset the sun is reflected by the clouds and the clouds start having beautiful colors. They themselves are not the sun, but they are reflecting the light of the sun. Feelings are close to being, so they reflect something of the being. But one has to go beyond feelings too.

Then what is being? It is neither thinking nor feeling, it is pure am-ness. One simply is. Thinking is very selfish and egoistic. Feeling is more altruistic, less egoistic. Being is no-ego, egolessness -- neither selfishness nor altruism but a spontaneity, a moment-to-moment responsiveness. One does not live according to oneself, one lives according to God, according to the whole. Feeling is half, and no half can ever satisfy you. Thinking and feeling are both halves and you will remain divided. Being is total, and only the total can bring contentment.

And the ultimate, the fourth change, is from being to non-being. That is nirvana, enlightenment; one simply disappears, one simply is not. God is, enlightenment is. Light is, delight is, but there is nobody who is delighted. Neti neti: neither this nor that, neither existence nor nonexistence -- this is the ultimate state. Atisha is slowly slowly taking his disciples towards it. Let me repeat: from thinking to feeling, from feeling to being, from being to non-being, and one has arrived. One has disappeared and one has arrived. One is no more, for the first time. And for the first time one really is.

The sixth sutra: Do not Discuss Defects. The mind tends to discuss the defects of others. It helps the ego to feel good. Everybody is such a sinner; when everybody is such a sinner, comparatively one feels like a saint. When everybody is doing wrong, it feels good that "At least I am not doing that much wrong."

Hence people talk about others' defects; not only do they talk about them, they go on magnifying them. That's why there is so much joy in gossiping. When the gossip passes from one hand to another hand, it becomes richer. And when it passes back again, something will be added to it. By the evening, if you come to know the gossip that you started in the morning, you will be surprised. In the morning it was just a molehill, now it is a mountain. People are very creative, really creative and inventive.

Why are people so interested in gossiping about others, in finding fault with others, in looking into others' loopholes and defects? Why are people continuously trying to look through others' keyholes? The reason is, this helps to give them a better feeling about themselves. They become Peeping Toms, just to have a good feeling, "I am far better." There is a motivation. It is not just to help others -- it is not, whatsoever they say, notwithstanding what they say. The basic reason is, "If others are very ugly, then I am beautiful."

They are following Albert Einstein's theory of relativity. I have heard: Mulla Nasruddin was staying in a hotel. A telegram had arrived from home and he was in a hurry to catch the train. He rushed. But when he reached downstairs and looked at his luggage the umbrella was missing. He had to go up to the room again and by the time he reached the fourteenth floor the room had already been given to somebody else -- a newlywed couple.

Although he was in a hurry and he might miss the train if he lingered there a little longer, the temptation was great. So he looked through the keyhole to see what was happening. A newlywed couple -- they were also in a hurry, they had already waited too long; the marriage ceremony and the church and the guests and all that -- somehow they had got rid of all of them and they were lying naked on the bed, talking sweet nothings. And the young man was saying to the woman, "You have such beautiful eyes. I have never seen such beautiful eyes! To whom do these eyes belong?"

And the woman said, "To you! To you, and only to you!"
And so on, the list went on. "These beautiful hands, these beautiful breasts," and this and that -- this went on and on. And Mulla had completely forgotten about the train and the taxi waiting downstairs. But then suddenly he remembered his umbrella. When the list was about to be completed, he said, "Wait! When you come to the yellow umbrella, that belongs to me."

People are unconsciously doing many things. If they become conscious these things will drop. Atisha says: Don't ponder over others' defects, it is none of your business. Don't interfere in others' lives, it is none of your business. But there are great moralists whose whole work is to see who is doing wrong. Their whole life is wasted; they are like police dogs sniffing here and there. Their whole life's work is to know who is doing wrong.

Atisha says: That is an ugly trait and a sheer wastage of time and energy. Not only is it a wastage but it strengthens and gratifies the ego. And an ego more gratified becomes more of a barrier. And remember, it is not only a question of not discussing others' defects. Don't even be too much concerned about your own defects. Take note, be aware, and let the matter be settled then and there. There are a few other people who brag about their own defects....

It is suspected by psychologists that Saint Augustine's autobiography, his confessions, are not true. He bragged about his defects. He was not that bad a person. But man is really unbelievable. If you start bragging about your qualities, then too, you go to extremes. If you start bragging about sins, then too, you go to the extreme. But in both ways you do only one thing. What Saint Augustine is doing is simple. By bragging about his defects and sins and all kinds of ugly things, he is preparing a context. Out of such a hell he rose and became a great saint.

Now his saintliness looks far more significant than it would have looked if he had been simply a good person from the very beginning. And the same is the case with Mahatma Gandhi in India. In his autobiography he simply exaggerates about his defects and goes on talking about them. It helps him in a very vicarious way. He was so low, he was in such a seventh hell, and from there he started rising and became a great mahatma, a great saint.

The journey was very arduous. This is very ego-fulfilling. Don't discuss others' defects, don't discuss your own defects. Take note, and that is that. Atisha says awareness is enough, nothing else is needed. If you are fully aware of anything, the fire of awareness burns it. There is no need for any other remedy.

Dont think about anything that concerns others.
And that's what you go on thinking. Ninety-nine percent of the things that you think about concern others. Drop them -- drop them immediately! Your life is short, and your life is slipping out of your fingers. Each moment you are less, each day you are less, and each day you are less alive and more dead! Each birthday is a death day; one more year is gone from your hands. Be a little more intelligent.

Dont think about anything that concerns others. Train First against the defilement that is Greatest. Gurdjieff used to say to his disciples -- the first thing, the very very first thing, "Find out what your greatest characteristic is, your greatest undoing, your central characteristic of unconsciousness." Each one's is different. Somebody is sex-obsessed. In a country like India, where for centuries sex has been repressed, that has become almost a universal characteristic; everybody is obsessed with sex. Somebody is obsessed with anger, and somebody else is obsessed with greed. You have to watch which is your basic obsession.

So first find the main characteristic upon which your whole ego edifice rests. And then be constantly aware of it, because it can exist only if you are unaware. It is burnt in the fire of awareness automatically. And remember, remember always, that you are not to cultivate the opposite of it. Otherwise, what happens is a person becomes aware that "My obsession is anger, so what should I do? I should cultivate compassion." "My obsession is sex, so what should I do? I should practice brahmacharya, celibacy."

People move from one thing to the opposite. That is not the way of transformation. It is the same pendulum, moving from left to right, from right to left. And that's how your life has been moving for centuries; it is the same pendulum. The pendulum has to be stopped in the middle. And that's the miracle of awareness. Just be aware that "This is my chief pitfall, this is the place where I stumble again and again, this is the root of my unconsciousness." Don't try to cultivate the opposite of it, but pour your whole awareness into it.

Create a great bonfire of awareness, and it will be burned. And then the pendulum stops in the middle. And with the stopping of the pendulum, time stops. You suddenly enter into the world of timelessness, deathlessness, eternity.

And the last sutra: Abandon all hopes of results.
The ego is result-oriented, the mind always hankers for results. The mind is never interested in the act itself, its interest is in the result. "What am I going to gain out of it?" If the mind can manage to gain, without going through any action, then it will choose the shortcut. That's why educated people become very cunning, because they are able to find shortcuts. If you earn money through a legal way, it may take your whole life.

But you can earn money by smuggling, by gambling or by something else -- by becoming a political leader, a prime minister, a president -- then you have all the shortcuts available to you. The educated person becomes cunning. He does not become wise, he simply becomes clever. He becomes so cunning that he wants to have everything without doing anything for it. The mind, the ego, are all result-oriented. The being is not result-oriented. And how can the non-being ever be result-oriented? It is not there at all in the first place. Meditation happens only to those who are not result-oriented.

There is an ancient story:
A man was very much interested in self-knowledge, in self-realization. His whole search had been to find a master who could teach him meditation. He went from one master to another, but nothing was happening. Years went by, he was tired, exhausted. Then someone told him, "If you really want to find a master you will have to go to the Himalayas. He lives in some unknown parts of the Himalayas; you will have to search for him.

One thing is certain, he is there. Nobody knows exactly where, because whenever somebody comes to know of him he moves from that place and goes even deeper into the Himalayan ranges." The man was getting old, but he gathered courage. For two years he had to work to earn money for the journey, then he made the journey. It is an old story. He had to ride on camels and horses and then go on foot, and then he reached the Himalayas.

People said, "Yes, we have heard about the old man, very ancient he is, one cannot say how old -- maybe three hundred years old, or even five hundred years old; nobody knows. He lives somewhere, but the location cannot be given to you. Nobody is aware of where exactly you will find him, but he is there. If you search hard you are bound to find him."

The man searched and searched and searched. For two years he was roaming in the Himalayas -- tired, exhausted, dead exhausted, living only on wild fruits, leaves and grass. He had lost much weight. But he was intent that he had to find this man; even if it took his life, it would be worth it.

And can you imagine? One day he saw a small hut, a grass hut. He was so tired that he was not even able to walk, so he crawled. He reached the hut. There was no door; he looked in, there was nobody inside. And not only was there nobody inside, but there was every sign that for years there had been nobody inside.

You can think what would have happened to that man. He fell on the ground. Out of sheer tiredness he said, "I give up." He was lying there under the sun in the cool breeze of the Himalayas, and for the first time he started feeling so blissful, he had never tasted such bliss! Suddenly he started feeling full of light. Suddenly all thoughts disappeared, suddenly he was transported -- and for no reason at all, because he had not done anything.

And then he became aware that somebody was leaning over him. He opened his eyes. A very ancient man was there. And the old man, smiling, said, "So you have come. Have you something to ask me?"
And the man said, "No."

And the old man laughed, a great belly laugh which was echoed by the valleys. And he said, "So now you know what meditation is?"
And the man said, "Yes."

What had happened? That assertion which came from his deepest core of being -- "I give up" -- in that very giving up, all goal-oriented mind efforts and endeavors disappeared. "I give up." In that very moment he was no more the same person. And bliss showered on him. He was silent, he was a nobody, and he touched the ultimate stratum of non-being. Then he knew what meditation is.

Meditation is a non-goal-oriented state of mind. This last sutra is tremendously significant: Abandon all hopes of results.  And then there is no need to go anywhere, God will come to you. Deep down say, "I give up." And silence descends, benediction showers. Meditate over these sutras, they are meant only for meditators. Atisha is not a philosopher, he is a siddha, a buddha. What he is saying is not some speculation. These are clear-cut instructions given only to those who are ready to travel, to go on the pilgrimage into the unknown.Enough for today.

Source: from book "the book of wisdom" by Osho



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